I have been studying the biblical teachings about marriage and I would like to emphasize one truth that is often neglected or even ignored by most preaching and Christian literature about marriage. The truth is that marriage is about the gospel. Many books and sermons about marriage emphasize how to be happy in marriage or how to implement practical steps to having a harmonious marriage. However, the Bible’s emphasis is on what marriage represents. It is to be a model of God’s grace in Christ’s love for the church. A happy or harmonious marriage that does not model Christ’s love for his church is not a properly functioning marriage.
Consider a few portions of the New Testament in this regard. Ephesians 5:25, 32 (ESV) states: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . . This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” 1 Peter 3:17 (ESV) states, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” In a more succinct way Colossians 3:19 says the same. Notice that the theology behind a man loving his wife is Christ’s love for the church. Peter approaches it from a slightly different angle, but nonetheless it is still about the gospel. Peter reminds us that we are fellow heirs with our spouses of God’s saving grace. Whether Paul or Peter wrote it, the New Testament emphais remains the same, marriage is about the gospel. It is about love, forgiveness, and grace just like the gospel. I believe that we have sometimes inadvertantly harmed Christian marriages by emphasizing individual happiness above the gospel. What happens when one person is not happy? Often one spouse, because he or she believes marriage is about personal happiness, will abandon the marriage. However, if it is about the gospel, then personal happiness is not the primary factor grace is. Even in difficult marriages we can graciously love and glorify God. However, this does not mean we are torn between gospel evidencing marriages and happy marriages. Happiness in marriage is most often a result of Christians striving to display God’s grace and illustrate Christ’s love for his church. However, happiness is the result and not the goal. As in many things, it is unwise and sometimes dangerous to make a result an ultimate goal. Our marriages are meant to glorify God by exemplifying his Grace, that is what true Christian marriages are made of.
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